Monday, December 28, 2015

Life Changes

It has been a really long time since I wrote a blog. The other night I was changing some information on my Facebook, and came across my old blog. So much has changed since then. The most recent change occurred back in April of this year when Josh called me up letting me know that he had been offered a job in Greenville, South Carolina. To be honest, I never saw myself anywhere else but Mobile, but here we are. I have to admit that it has been a a good move for us, but there is still so much that is unsettled. The thing that has unsettled us the most is our journey of trying to get pregnant. For a large portion of our marriage (approximately 3 of the 3 1/2 years) we have been trying.  Nothing has worked, not even the fertility specialist was able to help us. When we decided to make the move to Greenville, we gave things a rest, hoping that it would happen naturally. We have been here 6 months and there still has not been much change. A couple of months ago we began discussing the possibility of adoption. For me, I am realizing that I want to be a mother more than I want to be pregnant. But fear likes to creep its ugly little head into the situation. Can we afford this? What happens if we wait? Will we be chosen? Will we be able to love a child with a parent's love even though it is not our own flesh and blood? I am embarrassed to even say that we share these fears. Is this normal? Will God give Josh and I the same peace? On January 7th, Josh and I will meet with a lady from our church that should be able to answer some of these questions. I pray that God will give us both clarity.

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